We all grow up in a twisted sexual context, surrounded by secrecy and shame. Sexuality (alongside death) is still the biggest taboo in western and eastern societies. Even if porn and the over sexualization used in advertisement might give the impression that we are able to openly talk about sexuality, truth is, we are not. We do not even have a neutral vocabulary to talk about sex, (which isn't child, porn or medical language). We do not receive sexual education that goes beyond the mechanical use of disease prevention and brith control. We are left without knowing basic genital anatomy, even less so how to handle erogenes zones in our own bodies and those of our partners, to access its blissful, ecstatic, empowering potential. We do not receive any guidance on how to nurture a healthy, nurturing, loving, pleasurable relationship to our bodies and the bodies of the ones we love. The over use of sexualisation in advertisement and the poor mainstream porn are nothing more than the twisted expression of repression of sexual energy and the condemnation of bodily pleasure into the hidden shameful corners of our human experience.
Since childhood, we learn that touching our genitals is wrong and shameful. We learn that what feels good and natural to our bodies is actually something that is considered wrong. With that, we learn that our truth (that which feels good to us) is actually wrong; and we stop trusting our natural guidance and intuition. Our body has the potential for mind-blowing, divine, empowering, life-giving, connecting, liberating pleasure. And the only danger in using this gift from nature is that we become ourselves, agents of the wild and wise force of nature. Sexual energy is the force that generates life. Sexual energy is life energy. The force that has brought the totality of existence to be in all its glory and complexity; and is beyond our rational understanding. It might also be said, that the most efficient social control mechanism is the disconnection of humans from the free floe of their sexual energy, from life force. Growing up whilst trying to repress our vital sexual energy or whilst being left clueless, reference less, in the dark, about how to deal with our vital sexual energy and desires, disconnects us from life itself, from our inner authority - surviving only, whilst trying to follow the rules prescribed from outer authority. The path to freedom has to pass through the full recognition, acceptance, liberation and maturation of our vital sexual energy. Learning to allow and communicate the free expression of our sexual energy is allowing the free expression of life force through us and consequently, allowing a more authentic expression of ourselves.
From a therapeutic perspective, the sexual arena of our lives is where most of our hidden shame, guilt and disgust feelings become apparent. To have a look into sexuality, we need to get naked. Literally naked. Not only strip our psychological defences and personality masks. Having an honest good look at our nudity takes courage because it will show us, whatever we have been trying to hide so far. Our bodies are also who we are. How much respect, care, love, appreciation, gratitude, acceptance are we willing to give it?
From a spiritual perspective, sexual energy is one of the most powerful transformative and creative energies available to work with in the spiritual path. This force has been called kundalini by ancient yogis and tantricas: It is the dormant force (illustrated as a dormant snake resting in the base of the spine) which when awakened, penetrates the whole being, allowing for the free flow of live force and direct access to consciousness.
Healing can happen if we create a safe, non-judgemental space where you can be as you are and reconnect with the sensation of being perfectly imperfect, fully accepted and having a birth right to be exactly as you are and experience ecstatic pleasure and bliss (check out the tantra massage I offer). When I say ecstatic pleasure, I mean the kind of pleasure that makes your mind stop wondering and be fully here, fully present in the moment, and allows for you to perceive the always available beauty and perfection of life, the kind of pleasure that makes you feel connected with existence itself, the feeling of being exactly in the right place, at the right time, exactly as you are supposed to be, being part of a much bigger net, that goes beyond any rational understanding, being connected to something bigger, something that some like to call divine, or God itself.